There are various styles of parenting. One among them is intensive parenting. This is a style in which parents intervene excessively in their children’s lives, tightly control matters in the name of securing a good future, and strive to make their children’s lives “perfect.” The underlying attitude here is, “I will decide everything.” In order to develop the child’s abilities and turn them into high achievers, parents arrange tuitions, music, dance, sports—everything imaginable. How much interest or aptitude the child actually has in these areas becomes irrelevant. What matters to the parents is that the child must obey what they say. They do not allow the child to make even a single mistake. Even the choice of the child’s friends is often made by the parents themselves. This is a parenting style in which control and influence are exercised over the child in every possible way. Everything is done with the intention of ensuring that the child does not go astray. But how good is this approach? Or does it also have its drawbacks? It would be most appropriate to say that it has both advantages and disadvantages.
Let us therefore first examine the positive aspects of this parenting style. One major benefit is that children receive safety and discipline. The chances of a child going astray or falling into bad company are minimal. This approach is highly supportive of academic achievement, the development of certain habits, and success in studies. Children also get opportunities to showcase their talents. However, the disadvantages of this parenting style outweigh its benefits. Intensive parenting often harms children. It subjects them to excessive pressure. The psychological burden placed on children in their attempt to be “perfect” for their parents is immense. They may end up struggling with anxiety, depression, and burnout. Since parents make all the decisions, children’s self-confidence diminishes. They become incapable of making or implementing decisions on their own. In the absence of their parents, they may even fail to handle problems independently.
Due to tightly packed daily routines, children are unable to discover their own happiness or act according to their personal interests. The clash between freedom and control can also lead to friction in the relationship between parents and children.
When parents interfere in every matter, children lose the practical skills required to interact independently in society and to solve problems on their own. In such a situation, the question arises: what should parents do? What is needed here is a healthy balance. Instead of excessive control or complete freedom, parents should adopt a balanced and healthy approach that lies somewhere in between. Children should be allowed to grow by being given small decisions and responsibilities appropriate to their age. Rather than wishing that children never make mistakes, parents should train them to handle failures and errors. After all, failure often teaches us many lessons. Likewise, children should be given opportunities to learn from their failures. Instead of imposing greater control, parents should offer more guidance and support. Children should be provided with time for study, play, and rest. Parents should listen to their children and spend time with them.
