Suppose a child is crying. As parents, our first reaction is usually relief that the child is expressing something. But when the crying does not stop, most parents react with anger or frustration.
“Don’t speak… be quiet…”
Yet even then, will the child stop crying? No. In fact, the crying may increase. Such a response from parents is never an effective or healthy way of raising children. The world today has moved-or must move-toward a parenting style that nurtures children with love and empathy rather than control, punishment, or strict discipline. The old notion of “controlling children” is replaced by understanding them and acknowledging their emotions. This approach is called Gentle Parenting.
The first principle of this method is acknowledging children’s emotions. Even young children’s emotions are real. Crying, anger, fear, or distress should not be dismissed; instead, listen and affirm their feelings by saying, for example, “Yes, you are upset right now.” This gives the child confidence: “My feelings matter.”
In the earlier example, parents do not inquire why the child is crying. Instead, they draw conclusions and try to control the child using threats, raised voices, or even physical discipline. Here, the child’s emotions are ignored. The right approach is to understand the child’s feelings and explain why certain behavior is wrong.
For instance, saying “If you do this, it will hurt others, so let’s avoid it” helps the child understand. Setting boundaries lovingly is essential: “It’s 9 p.m. now; time to sleep. We can continue playing tomorrow.” Even if the child resists initially, they gradually accept it and learn the importance of consistent rules for safe growth.
Many parents feel uneasy about waking children in the morning. If the child does not wake up despite repeated calls, parents may become impatient or angry. This is not the right approach. Wake children gently and peacefully: “Good morning! Let’s make today a happy day.” Starting the day calmly positively influences the child’s mood.
If a child refuses to eat, instead of getting angry, say: “Are you not hungry right now? You can eat a little later.” Encourage children to approach food with joy, not fear. If a child resists studying, say: “I’ll be happy if you study.” Never force learning. Praise even small achievements: “You wrote very well; I am proud of you.” This builds self-confidence.
Play is not just entertainment-it is part of learning. When parents join children in play, it strengthens relationships: “I enjoy playing with you” becomes a meaningful experience. When children fight with friends or siblings, instead of punishing or scolding, help them understand: “You hurt him; did you see him cry?” Explain why hitting is wrong, not just “Don’t hit.”
Modern parenting requires adopting these changed approaches. Do not assume that children must be strictly controlled or punished. Understand that children are free individuals, and their emotions have value. Raising children with compassion, patience, empathy, and respect cultivates self-confidence and social responsibility.
A generation raised in love, rather than fear, will guide future society in the right direction. Even small daily changes by parents can lead to significant social transformation.
